I remember
well something said to me years ago by a laid-back friend – ‘It is hard to piss off a man who doesn’t
give a shit’. I made the point in Survive
your Camp that when you are in a difficult life situation you have to
let stuff go. Use apathy as a defense.
But this
has application to your life in general. The Buddha said that all unhappiness
is caused by attachment. This could be attachment to possessions, to your job or
avocations, or to people. Life is easier if you are not so attached.
Many people
become quite disheartened when their comfortable life changes for the worse.
They suffer bereavement, divorce or a loss of a job. You should be thankful for
the good things you have, but realize that they are not permanent either. This
realization will make their inevitable loss to you less painful.
This is an
underlying ethos of stoicism. Stoics classify everything as either good, bad or
indifferent. The only things that are good are virtues. You should work on
improving these. The four cardinal virtues, from ancient Greek philosophy are prudence,
justice, temperance (or restraint) and courage (or fortitude). The seven
heavenly virtues of Christianity are chastity, temperance, charity, diligence,
patience, kindness, and humility.
The only
bad things are vices. The vices that mirror the virtues in Greek Philosophy are
rashness, injustice, intemperance and cowardice. A fuller list of vices is the seven
deadly sins of medieval Christianity - wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy,
and gluttony. The seven virtues above are opposites of these. You should work
at eliminating them.
Everything
else is indifferent. Everything external to you, i.e. outside your total
control, should be indifferent to how you feel. There are preferred indifferents,
rejected indifferents and genuinely indifferent indifferents. It is important
to neither be excessively pleased about the preferred or upset about the
rejected indifferent events. If they are outside your control you have no
reason to feel excessively pleased or displeased about them.
Obviously
it is preferred to have a job, wealth, friends and a family. You would rather
not have illness, poverty or enemies. But it is important to neither be too
attached to the former nor too upset about the latter. Anything outside your
control should not affect how you feel about yourself.
If you can
maintain a stoical acceptance of the good and bad things that happen in your
life you will have much more control over your happiness. If something is
upsetting you ask yourself is it a result of your vice? If not don’t let it bother
you. If you are overjoyed at an event ask yourself is it due to your own
virtue? If not you should restrain your joy. Something that is the result of an action
by another can easily be taken away.
You will
have a much happier life if you learn to not give a shit about good things or
bad things. Chill! Be cool like Zeno.
(Illustration
of Zeno from http://poignantboy.wordpress.com/2012/08/27/stoicism/)
Hard to disagree with any of that.
ReplyDeleteHard to disagree with any of that.
ReplyDelete